silesia_duomi | an open letter to that one special friend..

Chinggu.. it's been what... 2 days since I have receive that unpleasant news... I remember it clearly it was gloomy Saturday morning in Beijing, I was preparing myself for a whole day of work, as soon as I connected myself to the net, your name came out and I am glad.. after all I have been wondering where the heck are you, I haven't heard a thing about you for almost a month.. I saw that you have seen my messages and I was even surprised sed when you ignore the comeback stage your favorite idol... ah you must have been very busy, or you have been very naughty that your hubby decided to ground you from accessing your social media accounts... Days and weeks have passed.. I am still wondering where are you and why are you ignoring my messages, you know I have tons of things to say.. I want to tell you about the places I have been, the food that I have tasted, the awkward moments with the locals.. how savy I am with the subways.. the funny and the sad things I have realize lately.. But there is still no you.. no messages from you.. no updates.. I can't even tagged you.. nothing.. until that Saturday morning.. when your name pops up.. but it wasn't you at the end of the other line.. It was your hubby.. I wasn't even surprised because we are also friends after all.. but I was surprised by the message he have sent.. He told me that your gone.. wait what.. I simply cannot comprehend it at once and then it dawned to me what he simply meant.. the funny thing is until now I am half expecting that you will message me again and said that you are joking like the last time... you know never I have doubt anything that he have said especially when it's all about you.. I can't asked for more details, for I know it takes a lot of courage for him, a whole lot of pain for him to share that one truth... you are now gone.. I can't even get mad at him for telling me about your death after 42 days, because I know you asked him not to tell me about it... there's nothing I can do for him but to offer some moral support.. after all I lost a friend but he lost his wife, the love of his life.. Hours passed by.. it slowly very slowly sink in to me that you are gone, and when I am alone, away from someone who might asks me what's wrong.. I found myself crying and mourning for you.. I indeed have lost a friend but why do I feel that I have lost more than that.. I lost a sister, my comrade... I lost my soul mate.. No more calls in the wee hours of morning nor in the early dawn... no more silly nonsense talks.. no more.. for you have left us.. you know what, I really feel angry and disappointed that you thought less of me, you thought that it was okey not to let me know that you are gone.. but a part of me truly understand why you choose not to tell me, because you just want to simply fade away from my mind and heart... oh how I wish I could do just that.. but I just can't.. you have been apart of me and forever will be.. time will come that I might forget but I want you to know that deep in my heart you will be there.. I hope wherever you are.. you are not in pain.. you are with Gabriel and your lola and lolo.. you are free.. you are happy.. I will miss you terribly.. thank you for sharing a part of your life to me.. goodbye my dear friend..